a letter of instruction is an informal estate planning document that clearly communicates instructions and desires that are to be handled after a person dies. it guides surviving family members through personal, financial and funeral information.
talking about end of life planning is never easy. but when you’re prepared, the conversation will be more bearable. and we're here to help you navigate!
planning and making decisions about the end of your life can be a positive experience. it is a good opportunity to reflect on the things that are important to you, and to make arrangements that suit you.
it’s not uncommon these days for families to be a blend of more than one marriage and involve stepchildren, sometimes from more than one birth mother. this can make end-of-life discussions more important before an actual illness sets in, and also it can make it more fraught with emotions and differences of opinion. this makes it important to take into account when we plan and discuss anything related to dying, death, and the aftermath it’s essential to take into account stepchildren and other relatives. “the end of life is often a nexus where stuff that has been building for decades comes out,” says brian carpenter, associate professor of psychology at washington university who studies family communication and decision making. “as we live longer and longer, relationships are becoming more complicated. families may be ‘blended’ more than once. that kind of situation compounds the number of people that are part of the end-of-life conversation,” carpenter adds. sara had watched her husband of 20 years, liam, decline over 6 months from kidney disease. liam’s adult children from his previous marriage did not disagree with the decision to put him in hospice and were respectful of the final months as their stepmom stayed by their father’s side each day. sara was grateful that there was no acrimony between the family members over the decision. the day after liam died, as sara was planning the funeral, and liam’s children became vocal and insisted that their birth mother give the eulogy at his funeral. despite years of an acrimonious relationship between liam and his divorced wife, the children felt that since their mom and liam had been high school sweethearts, she knew a side to him that sara did not and so could share more meaningful memories and stories to liam’s friends and relatives than anything sara could say. sara was stunned, hurt, and angry at what she considered to be an inconsiderate and inappropriate demand. end-of-life issues, whether it’s writing a will or planning the script for a funeral, are never easy. in a blended family, these processes tend to be even more fraught, but it is doable. “it’s never too late to talk about expectations and preferences though it’s much better to do so before people grow elderly or ill,” carpenter warns. we all need to focus on what we (and those we love) want and what we don’t want. in blended families, more than the usual number of conversations may be needed. he has observed that families that have been “blended” a long time often find it easier to overcome differences of opinion, especially if the adult children and their stepfamilies have amicable relations. carpenter suggests these five steps to begin productive conversations: be realistic about your family. a stepmother or stepbrother who tends to be argumentative or irritable in general won’t be any less difficult when you discuss end-of-life issues. plan beforehand how you might deal with such a person. if others in the family share your assessment, make a pact not to walk out of the meeting no matter how irked you become. or agree that you will ask the person or people interfering with the process to put any objections in writing. promise to go through them carefully (and do so), and schedule another family conversation as soon as you can. gather important documents. all family members, even people who are perfectly healthy, should have a living will and a durable power of attorney for health care and for finances. if there is no designated health care power of attorney (poa), state laws for surrogate decision-making focus on biological relations, and by default step-family are further down the line or even excluded. even if there is poa, many funeral homes often depend on the next-of-kin hierarchy. be clear about your desires. do you want your body to be cremated after you die or do you want to be buried? make sure your blended-family members know. if you choose to be cremated, be certain that you clarify in print what you want to be done with your ashes. another thing to consider in end-of-life planning is what type of service you would like to have. whether it’s a funeral or a memorial service, listing people you might want to speak at the service will stop any potential take-over by disagreeing step-relatives. revisit the conversation. end of life decisions are not set in stone. preferences can change as we get older. if you made end-of-life decisions when you were a healthy 50-year-old, you may have different ideas and feelings as a terminally-ill 80-year-old. the conversation and decisions should be about what you are comfortable with for yourself and not what anyone else expects of you. look beyond the death. carpenter stresses that end-of-life issues don’t end with the funeral. “something important to consider beforehand is what kind of relationships you want to have with your blended family members after the person who was the glue that stuck you together dies,” he says. for example, do you still want to have a relationship with your stepfather, especially if your mother married him later in her life and you hardly knew him? when the blending has happened when family members are all older, people often don’t want to continue relationships, carpenter observes. it’s perfectly normal, and don’t judge yourself if contact eventually diminishes to a yearly holiday card. bringing everyone together in a family discussion about end of life care can be difficult to wrangle in any family, not just in blended ones. so the question remains how can we even start a conversation about this? carpenter suggests that you jump on any opportunity, such as the illness of a neighbor, the death of a family friend or an event in the news. if families cannot agree, consider a mutually acceptable third-party mediator to help you resolve issues.
end of life care should help you to live as well as possible until you die, and to die with dignity. the people providing your care should ask you about your wishes and preferences and work with you to plan your care.
it's a scary, but important, conversation. here's how to bring end-of-life wishes with a loved one and what to discuss.
end-of-life planning for people with alzheimer's or another dementia – get facts on hospice, dnr and more to help you express your wishes and plan ahead.
embrace the hospice heart
conversations about end-of-life decisions are delicate, personal, and unique — and rarely, if ever, begun and completed in one sitting. one thing is sure, given the mobility of our society, the advances in medical technology, and the continuing cultural denial of death: the need for these conversations has never been more profound.
get a complete checklist of important end-of-life documents to prepare. protect your wishes and ease your loved ones' burden.
starting the conversation about end-of-life wishes - when to have the talk. conversation starters. responding to resistance. when family members disagree.
this chapter discusses the end-of-life wishes arc, the goal of which is to explore the end-of-life wishes of patients and families, including advance directive and code status preferences. the chapter outlines a series of questions to help patients articulate their...
a living will is part of an advanced directive, which can help guide healthcare decisions if you're seriously ill. learn why it's so important to discuss your end-of-life wishes with your family.
although talking about hospice and end-of life options may feel uncomfortable, it is vital to have this important conversation with your loved ones. when you know their preferences for medical intervention and where they want to be when they die, you can ensure that their wishes are met. discuss options early most americans want to...
covid-19 highlighted the need to plan for medical emergencies, but most people still avoid the issue.
research guides: supporting end-of-life care: death doulas, death cafes, & grief resources: free end-of-life checklists & advanced directives
each of the following three sections in this guidebook include documents necessary to outline a path for loved ones to follow, assuring dignity, security and peace for an individual reaching life's end, represented by the bird in flight.
what are advance directives? they are documents that express the type of care you want to receive at end of life.
code of ethics chapter page.
one of the most important gifts you can give to your family is information about your end-of-life care wishes. this infographic can help you understand the significance.
thinking about the end of your life can be difficult, but giving it some thought now means you can consider all your options and start getting your affairs in order. find out more with age uk.
learn six tips for talking to your family about end of life wishes and estate planning.
how do you start the end-of-life conversation? our guide has resources to help you broach this sensitive subject. see end-of-life conversation starters.
while it’s a topic most people don’t like talking about - no matter how old or young - having conversations about death can be beneficial to you and your
photo by georg arthur pflueger on unsplash […]
end of life issues are never easy. your florida living will should help you and your family at end of life. let us help you make the best planning decisions.
the 3 wishes program (3wp) is a palliative care initiative in which clinicians elicit and implement final wishes for patients who are unfortunately imminently dying.
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living wills and other advance directives describe your treatment preferences in end-of-life situations when you can
https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/648669d3ff1c1c2aabd941fc/648669d3ff1c1c2aabd94bd0_statement-of-wishes.avif
it’s never too early to prepare for the end of life. registering with hospice signals it's time to ask these important end of life questions.
compassion & choices improves care, expands options and empowers everyone to chart their end-of-life journey.
discussing end-of-life wishes with your spouse, or your long-term romantic partner, is an important and sensitive conversation. there are tips on how to discuss end-of-life topics and conversation starters you can use to start discussing end-of-life wishes with your spouse in this blog post.
our helpful guide to get you confident talking about your wishes for end-of-life care with loved ones, doctors and nurses.
more folks are realizing it is a natural and necessary way of alleviating pain, misunderstandings and of bringing considerable peace of mind for the whole family.
facilitating a loved one’s wish to die at home might sound challenging, but with pre-planning and professional end-of-life care, you can honor this wish
facing the loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult life events. from care to celebrations, you can better understand their end-of-life wishes with a few questions.
for people with terminal illnesses or who are dying, the care they need at the end of their life will look different. end-of-life care can last from days to months, and it can be physical, medical, mental, or spiritual. this type of care can also take a toll on caregivers and family members—they may not know what’s best. nih medlineplus magazine’s latest article gathers helpful information from the national institute on aging to point caregivers in the right direction. remember that whatever the person needs, being present however you can is helpful.
navigate assisted living, hospice, palliative care, funerals, and more with these thoughtful resources, and learn how to cope with such transitions.
talking about your future healthcare choices and end-of-life wishes may be one of the most important discussions you have. contact us to discuss your options.
although it can be hard, planning for and making decisions about the end of life is important. doing it ahead of time can reduce stress for you and your family.
it is important for the family members of someone who is facing the end of their life to respect their wishes and follow through with the requests of their loved one as much as is practical and possible
read on to learn about how to start end-of-life planning.
message ideas for what to write and say to someone who is dying or terminally-ill. includes examples for caregivers and what not to say from pro writers.
five wishes is the most popular advance care planning resource in the u.s. an individual copy costs the same as 25 years ago - just $5.
sharing your end-of-life wishes with your physician is one of [...]
amazon.com: five wishes advance care planning and living will – end of life directives legal document
“end-of-life decisions should not be made at the end of life” – un-credited
by karin as a chaplain with hospice of the red river valley, i have the privilege of providing spiritual support to many of our patients and their families. my passion and interest in the spiritual dimension of hospice care emerged from my own experience. when i was twenty-eight years old (thirty-two years ago), my dad died from lung cancer. he was able to remain in his home due to the support and care of his children and an area hospice program. in a formative way, my dad’s death and my early experience with hospice care significantly shaped my understanding of the spiritual journey, particularly during this season called “end of life.” the hospice staff encouraged us to talk openly with each other and to take notice of what dr. ira byock has come to call the “four things that matter most”: expressing love, saying thank-you, forgiving others and asking for forgiveness. generally, these four practices are not only at the heart of what sustains healthy relationships in this life, but are also essential for meaningful and grace-filled goodbyes. i have found this to be true regardless of whether one has a strong spiritual tradition or religious affiliation—or none at all. in my dad’s case, he had long been alienated from the church of his childhood, which was catholic. he also had some significant relationship issues. accepting that the end of life was in sight became an opportunity to consider our spiritual needs in a new light. the question we were looking into was, “what might bring healing and reconciliation to our family relationships and also to the relationship between my dad and his higher power?” after some conversation with my dad, he acknowledged that he would like to see a priest, even though he felt guilty and undeserving. i made the call. the priest came as quickly as he was able. i can honestly say that in the many calls i have made on behalf of our hospice patients, rarely have i noted anything but eagerness on the part of spiritual leaders in response to the spiritual needs of those who are “turning toward home.” the priest’s visit, confession, communion, the baptism of a new grandchild and the extended family praying around my dad’s bed—all profoundly changed the spirit of those last days. it didn’t matter that each of us, my dad’s five children, were following very different spiritual paths. when my aunt initiated prayer with her rosary, we all joined in. the words of the hail mary were particularly poignant in those final hours…“pray for us now and at the hour of our death…” what i had previously judged to be an “empty ritual” seemed to come alive in those moments. when one aunt handed my dad a broken rosary blessed by the pope, he hung it on his bed and said, “it is broken, just like i am.” from a dad who lived most of his life spiritually troubled, came these humble and beautiful words. in his dying we were able to receive some of the most healing gifts of his life… and my life has never been the same… about hospice of the red river valley hospice of the red river valley is an independent, not-for-profit hospice serving all, or portions of, 29 counties in north dakota and minnesota. hospice care is intensive comfort care that alleviates pain and suffering, enhancing the quality of life for patients with life-limiting illnesses and their loved ones by addressing their medical, emotional, spiritual and grief needs. for more information, call toll free 800-237-4629, email questions@hrrv.org or visit www.hrrv.org.
constructing an 'end of life plan' allows you to get your affairs in order and answer a broad range of end of live decisions. here's everything you need to know.
my father is still mentally capable of making his own decisions and would just like to go home.
an nhpco resource to help patients and caregivers understand topics like advance directives, end-of-life care, and related issues.
advances in the field of medicine have added value to life, but it is doubtful if they have added value to death.
managing the last phase of life properly, i.e., taking care that a patient’s wishes are respected at the end of life and beyond, is very important and can relieve the patient and his or her family of unnecessary burdens. this review is based on ...
life is unpredictable. advance directives are one of the best ways to ensure your care or end-of-life preferences are honored if you become incapacitated.
a blog by dr kath lambert, consultant in palliative medicine at harrogate and district nhs foundation trust we will all experience death and dying but we can find it hard to talk to friends and family about it. as a palliative medicine consultant, i know that by talking to people and having honest conversations about […]
navigate end-of-life planning with our guide to essential documents and faqs. ensure peace and uphold wishes for yourself and loved ones. learn more now.
don’t leave your end-of-life care to chance. our advance care planning (acp) kit invites you to think about and express your wishes for health care and treatment at the end of life.
a estate planning article.
understand the importance of living wills in making your end-of-life wishes clear. learn how to create, update, and communicate your living will effectively.
customize, print, and download your free end-of-life plan in minutes.
with advance care planning, you can ensure that your end-of-life preferences for medical care are honored, even if you are unable to communicate them yourself. thinking about your wishes for end-of life care may not be easy, but it is important for you, your loved ones, and the healthcare professionals who care for you. making...
the goal of good end-of-life care is to provide as much physical and emotional comfort as possible. not aimed at curing illness, the following options focus on comfort, dignity and quality of life. for many, it is reassuring just to know that options exist. there is no one right answer…